People have weird tatts

Browsing through loltatz, is amusing me immensly.

This came in the mail last week. It always make me smile when AP comes in the mail. It does ten fold when Taking Back Sunday is on the cover. <3

I can't say that my life is even remotely interesting. It pretty much revolves around school or work, then come home and annoy my kitty, Tumnus.

He likes hiding behind the blinds. :)

Though last week, my life was pretty awesome. I finished a tap wrench and it works perfectly. Also Wednesday and Thursday were the pinnacle of my week. Those being the days I was at Austech. My torque wrench was on display at the RMIT stand, which is pretty darn fantastic. My work was recognised as being on of the better ones in the class. Yay! Even though the arm is about 5mm too short. Shhh!! Just don't tell anyone. I have to remake that part before the end of semester and calibrate it. 

It gets better from there. I was approached by AMTIL (Australian Manufacturing Trade Industry Limited) to help them out as a tour guide for school groups. I only did 2 tours, but still it was a great experience and opportunity to network. I got 3 business cards!!! The only time I get anyone's number. hahahaha!! And its all work related. Though one not work or school related thing that made my legs turn to jelly, was meeting Rick Kelly, V8 Supercar driver. I was shaking like a leaf, afterwards. I was completely composed talking to him, but turned to butter afterwards. Next highlight, I got my name engraved on a pen for free.

Now I'm roped into another RMIT trade program promotion on thursday. All I really have to do is help students in year 8 & 9 make aluminium airplanes whilst teachers from RMIT talk about the various courses available. Pinnacle of my social life!

Failing

Today was a boring day. I worked and tried to keep busy. 

I am failing at re-dying my clothes. 

My legs have finally gone back to normal, rather than the logs of jelly they were. 

Latest issue of AP came in the mail today. Taking Back Sunday on the cover. I am rather excited to read that article. :) 

The new Star Trek movie is AWESOME!!!! I went with my lovely friend, Tarah .... We were the ONLY  nerds in the cinema. Giggling at everything and squealing at each other in excitement. Win all round! I think we annoyed the guy sitting next to us. hahaha So next weekend, we are planning on having a Star Trek marathon. We're clearly cool. 

TV fails tonight. I am waiting patiently for Supernatural to start and I can't stop farting. Its really rank. :S 

I am really boring right now. I have nothing to sook about or evenly remoting interesting to say. So on that note ........

Another family orientated rant.

Would it be wrong of me to disown them??

My own mother said I had no respect for her. What the fuck?? Where the hell does this shit come from??

Okay so I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, only to have her go on and on about how she has had a nervous breakdown and is selling everything she owns and moving down the coast somewhere. Also how she has down everything for us kids and we have done nothing but disrespect her and "Kick her in guts" (her own words). She lumped me in the same category as my psycopathic sister. I am nothing like my sister. I have always had the utmost respect for her and everything she has done for me. I understand that everything she did, was done with the best of intentions. Am I invisible to her?? 

What I do love though, is during our conversation, I said that it is always about her, which is true. We've had conversations where she has talked about herself for 20 minutes and not once asked me how I was or what I had been up to. But upon pointing this out to her, she ignored my comment and still carried on talking about herself. And .... and she was not excited or even the least bit enthused that my torque wrench will be on display at an exhibition. It really hurts knowing that the people who are meant to love me unconditionally, don't. I have never felt as alone in this world as I do now. 

I stand here with her disapproval staring me in the face and I look around only to see the life that I am forging for myself. It is above and beyond anything that I could have imagined happening. For once in my life, I have a career in mind for myself that I am passionate about and want so much that I will do almost anything to get it and nothing ... no-one is going to stand in my way. I try to surround myself with good people, good friends. And yet I am so hurt that I don't feel that I can eat, let alone get out of bed in the morning. But I do and I don't let a single soul see how heartbroken I am. No-one should know that my heart feels like it has been shattered into a millions pieces, or being sucked with unbelievable force into a black hole. I feel as though my insides are sinking into the pit of my stomach and disintergrating. Sometimes I just want to sit there and cry, but I just don't have the tears, nor the energy to just let myself go and feel it all just flow out of me.

"They say what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Well, maybe some of us are just so sick and tired of being so damn strong."

Another Badge of Courage - BoySetsFire.

Happy freakin' Mother's Day

I called my nan in advance to wish her a happy mother' day. She was really enthused to hear it was me who rang. Her response was a very disappointed, "Oh!". Wow! Do I feel loved or what? I am shocked, but not entirely suprised. My family is fucked and have completely unrealistic expections for relationships and reactions to traumatic events. You can all go to hell!!!!!

Anyway, I don't need 'em. I got my kitty and my friends and they are a million times better than that lot of relations.

But .... I have exciting news, which I am telling everyone. The torque wrench I made at school is being display at an RMIT stand at Austech Expo 2009. Feeling pretty special, I must admit. 

Why am I watching bad tv?

Waiting, waiting, waiting .... waiting for that all important phone call to tell how the Court case went. It's frustrating! And it's not as though I can call the police officer, who was going to inform me of the results, because I don't have a contact number for her. I know that there is another person to contact, but I am not in the mood for having that conversation with her. Her, being my mum and that conversation, being the one along the lines of making me feel guilty for doing what I can to take care of myself. I know how irrational that sound, but any dealings with my mum and/or sister are not rational. But when you know what Peta is capable of and have walked in my shoes, you wouldn't hesitate for one moment to take out an AVO.

 She has assaulted me in the past, to explain some of where I am coming from. One night, I don't even know why it all started, she hit mum in the face and went on to attack me as I was walking away from her. She repeatedly hit me at the base of my skull and continued on until she was pulled off of me by our uncle, who struggled to pull her off me. If he wasn't there, I know she would have killed me. Without a doubt, the force behind each blow, the rage that was inside of her, she wouldn't have ended until it was the end of me.

Then there was the time she was arrested for drink driving in Canberra and it took 4 policemen to put her in the paddy wagon. *sigh of frustration* She has being doing stuff like this on and off for the past 8 years and yet she gets away with it.

It's a frustrating situation and I just want a resolution. 

But that aside, life is good. :) I could potentionally be starting a course next month in CAD Operations, which would be awesome. I mean, it's way ahead of when I'd being doing it in Engineering - Advanced Trade and it would be excellent to get a head start and I feel completely and utterly capable of doing it now. I want to be an Engineer so badly and I would be excellent at it, that I will do anything, but not of the sexual variety, to get it. Hence the maths tuition - to make sure I'm grasping it and working at an RMIT stand at a machinery expo next week and then I found out that there are positions available at a production post out at Airport West with some aviation company that is working on the vertial thrusters in fighter planes. EEEEEPPPPP!!!! Could you imagine doing work placement there??  OH - MY - LORD!!!!! I'm so excited by the thought of it!!! 

I have never been as certain of anything in my life as I am of this - that I am going to be an Engineer, whether it's aviation or mechanical. I am going to do it and kick butt in the process. :D

The First Blog of Many

I haven't posted a blog in many, many years and decided it was time to vent my spleen in a different medium. So where do I begin?? .....

I could start with the whole depressing saga of my relationship with my sister and the AVO, which has ended it. 

I guess things with my sister have always been rocky. It's just this time, I'd had enough. I'm so sick and tired of being treated like dirt from someone who is meant to care about me and love me unconditionally, yet instead she harrasses me, threatens violence and my death, never seems to factor in that I am more than someone she can just push around and blame everything on and expect me to be okay with it the next day. Her unpredictable violent behaviour has lead to me fearing for my life and safety for the last time. I can't take anymore of this unhealthy relationship. I'm so tired of having to be the strong one and taking everyone's shit. This is the last time I will sit idlely by and let her threaten me. If anyone who wasn't family did what she has done to me, they would have been stopped instantly. Yet it has taken 8 years of bullshit and death threats for me to take a stance. An extreme situation lead to a logical and seemingly not so extreme reaction/solution. ie she invited back to Goulburn for her 21st, then threatens to hurt me and kill me and expects me to be okay with that/let her get away with it. So as an act of self preservation, I called the Police and requested an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order be taken out against. Requested accepted! She goes to court on Wednesday regarding the charges, which she and mum have requested that I drop .... Not over my dead body. Actions have consequences. These are the consequences she will have to live with, potentionally jail time. I will not feel guilty for taking a stance!!!!!