Another family orientated rant.

Would it be wrong of me to disown them??

My own mother said I had no respect for her. What the fuck?? Where the hell does this shit come from??

Okay so I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, only to have her go on and on about how she has had a nervous breakdown and is selling everything she owns and moving down the coast somewhere. Also how she has down everything for us kids and we have done nothing but disrespect her and "Kick her in guts" (her own words). She lumped me in the same category as my psycopathic sister. I am nothing like my sister. I have always had the utmost respect for her and everything she has done for me. I understand that everything she did, was done with the best of intentions. Am I invisible to her?? 

What I do love though, is during our conversation, I said that it is always about her, which is true. We've had conversations where she has talked about herself for 20 minutes and not once asked me how I was or what I had been up to. But upon pointing this out to her, she ignored my comment and still carried on talking about herself. And .... and she was not excited or even the least bit enthused that my torque wrench will be on display at an exhibition. It really hurts knowing that the people who are meant to love me unconditionally, don't. I have never felt as alone in this world as I do now. 

I stand here with her disapproval staring me in the face and I look around only to see the life that I am forging for myself. It is above and beyond anything that I could have imagined happening. For once in my life, I have a career in mind for myself that I am passionate about and want so much that I will do almost anything to get it and nothing ... no-one is going to stand in my way. I try to surround myself with good people, good friends. And yet I am so hurt that I don't feel that I can eat, let alone get out of bed in the morning. But I do and I don't let a single soul see how heartbroken I am. No-one should know that my heart feels like it has been shattered into a millions pieces, or being sucked with unbelievable force into a black hole. I feel as though my insides are sinking into the pit of my stomach and disintergrating. Sometimes I just want to sit there and cry, but I just don't have the tears, nor the energy to just let myself go and feel it all just flow out of me.

"They say what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Well, maybe some of us are just so sick and tired of being so damn strong."

Another Badge of Courage - BoySetsFire.