Fuck you, Backstabber!

Every time I begin to think life is beginning to go well, people remind me why I don't like them so much. Yet as much as I try to not care and let it get to me, sometimes it does and today it one of those times. I just don't understand. Did I directly or even indirectly do something to upset or offend them? Today it feels like my mere existence is what has irritated them. *sigh* It all seems so petty when you step back and look at it. The facebook groups joined after I send an sms or the bitchy remark tweeted over a picture I posted. You know what? We're no longer friends. I don't need shit like this bringing me down. I'd rather be lonely than spend the rest of my life being depressed.

It makes me think, though, which leads to tears, what is it that leads to one moment being a good friend and the next this shit?? Did I say or do something?? Is there a part of my personality that irritates you?? Does my life and direction intimidate you?? Not that I want to change, I like myself just the way I am, but I'd just like to understand. People really baffle me. I can now understand why some women end up as Spinsters with cats. Cats are so much easier to have in your life than people. None of this nice to your face, then stabbing you in the back the second you turn around. The same goes for all pets .... What you see is what you get and there are no hidden agendas.

Though another thought ... This isn't the first time this backstabbing bitchy-ness has happened, which gets me thinking, what is it about me that makes people think they can treat me this way?? Maybe it's not me personally, but the people I attract ... I must have been born with a big neon sign above my head stating "Treat me badly, It's all good."

Though is this just what everyone is like?? Deep down they are mistreating assholes. I don't want to think like that. I am holding onto a small shred of hope that there is a nice person out there, one guy waiting just for me to come along. I'm a nice person, loving, hard working, dedicated, loyal, quirky, with an understated sense of romance, independent, unconventional, passionate. Though I can be moody and distant, I like my space aka I can't stand clingy people, quiet, yet opinionated.

I have to have hope in the end of it all. I must try not to let it get to me. *sigh*